Parenting Tips

Preparing to breastfeed before the birth

It's good to find out as much as you can about breastfeeding before you have your baby. It may help you feel more confident when you start breastfeeding your baby.

Antenatal classes usually cover the most important aspects of breastfeeding, such as positioning and attachment, expressing, and how to tackle common breastfeeding problems.

You can find out about breastfeeding from your midwife, family and friends, and useful help lines and websites.

There are lots of groups and drop-ins, some specially designed for pregnant women who want to know more about breastfeeding. You can find out more by asking your midwife, health visitor, local peer supporter or GP.

Skin-to-skin contact

Having skin-to-skin contact with your baby straight after giving birth will help to keep them warm and calm and steady their breathing.

Skin-to-skin means holding your baby naked or dressed only in a nappy against your skin, usually under your top or under a blanket.

Skin-to-skin time can be a bonding experience for you and your baby. It’s also a great time to have your first breastfeed. If you need any help, your midwife will support you with positioning and attachment.

Skin-to-skin contact is good at any time. It will help to comfort you and your baby over the first few days and weeks as you get to know each other. It also helps your baby attach to your breast using their natural crawling and latching-on reflexes.

You'll still be able to bond with and breastfeed your baby if skin-to-skin contact is delayed for some reason, for example if your baby needs to spend some time in special care.

If necessary, your midwife will show you how to express your breast milk until your baby is ready to breastfeed. They can also help you have skin-to-skin contact with your baby as soon as it's possible.

Skin-to-skin after a caesarean

If your baby is delivered by caesarean, you should still be able to have skin-to-skin contact with your baby straight after delivery.

Colostrum: your first milk

The fluid your breasts produce in the first few days after birth is called colostrum. It's thick and usually a golden yellow colour. It's a very concentrated food, so your baby will only need a small amount, about a teaspoonful, at each feed.

Your baby may want to feed quite often, perhaps every hour to begin with. They'll begin to have fewer, but longer feeds once your breasts start to produce more "mature" milk after a few days.

The more you breastfeed, the more your baby’s sucking will stimulate your supply and the more milk you'll make.

Your let-down reflex

Your baby's sucking causes muscles in your breasts to squeeze milk towards your nipples. This is called the let-down reflex.

Some women get a tingling feeling, which can be quite strong. Others feel nothing at all.

You'll see your baby respond when your milk lets down. Their quick sucks will change to deep rhythmic swallows as the milk begins to flow. Babies often pause after the initial quick sucks while they wait for more milk to be delivered.

Occasionally this let-down reflex can be so strong that your baby coughs and splutters. Your midwife, health visitor or breastfeeding supporter can help with this

If your baby seems to be falling asleep before the deep swallowing stage of feeds, they may not be properly attached to the breast. Ask your midwife, health visitor or breastfeeding supporter to check your baby’s positioning and attachment.

Sometimes you'll notice your milk letting down in response to your baby crying or when you have a warm bath or shower. This is normal.

How often should I feed my baby?

In the first week, your baby may want to feed very often. It could be every hour in the first few days.

Feed your baby as often as they want and for as long as they want. They'll begin to have fewer, but longer feeds after a few days.

As a very rough guide, your baby should feed at least 8 to 12 times, or more, every 24 hours during the first few weeks.

It's fine to feed your baby whenever they are hungry, when your breasts feel full or if you just want to have a cuddle.

It's not possible to overfeed a breastfed baby.

When your baby is hungry they may:

• Get restless
• Suck their fist or fingers
• Make murmuring sounds
• Turn their head and open their mouth (rooting)

It's best to try and feed your baby during these early feeding cues as a crying baby is difficult to feed.

Building up your milk supply

Around 2 to 4 days after birth you may notice that your breasts become fuller. This is often referred to as your milk "coming in".

Your milk will vary according to your baby's needs. Each time your baby feeds, your body knows to make more milk for the next feed. The amount of milk you make will increase or decrease depending on how often your baby feeds.

Feed your baby as often as they want and for as long as they want. This is called responsive feeding. In other words, responding to your baby’s needs. It's also known as on-demand or baby-led feeding.

In the beginning, it can feel like you're doing nothing but feeding. But gradually you and your baby will get into a pattern and the amount of milk you produce will settle down.

It's important to breastfeed at night because this is when you produce more hormones (prolactin) to build up your milk supply.

In the early weeks, before you and your baby have become comfortable with breastfeeding, "topping up" with formula milk or giving your baby a dummy can lower your milk supply.

Speak to a midwife or health visitor if you are worried about breastfeeding or you think your baby is not getting enough milk.

They might suggest giving your baby some expressed breast milk along with breastfeeding.

Dealing with leaking breasts

Sometimes, breast milk may leak unexpectedly from your nipples.

Wearing breast pads will stop your clothes becoming wet with breast milk. Remember to change them frequently to prevent an infection.

Expressing some milk may also help. Only express enough to feel comfortable as you do not want to over stimulate your supply.

If your baby has not fed recently, you could offer them a feed as breastfeeding is also about you being comfortable.

Parenting tips for the first two years of life

Did you know that up to 75% of each meal goes to build your baby’s brain? Or that over 80% of your babys brain is formed by the age of 3?

With every hug and every kiss, with every nutritious meal and game you play, you're helping to build your baby's brain.

Here are some tips to help give your child the best start in life

Newborn baby tips

Within a few days, babies can start smiling when people smile at them.

• Provide ways for your baby to see, hear, move freely and touch you.You should see your baby's arms and legs move in disconnected ways. Slowly your baby will learn how to control her movements.
• Look into your baby's eyes and smile in response to his smiles.You should see your baby react positively to your facial expressions, movements and gestures.
• Talk to your baby in soft tones and baby talk. Both the father, mother and other caregivers should communicate with the newborn. You will notice that she can hear and will soon start memorizing and copying your words.
• Gently change the sound of your voice. Make it slower/quicker, higher/lower, or quieter/louder. You should observe reactions from your baby's face and body, and notice him interacting with you.
• Place your baby on her tummy and shake a rattle or bell in front of her.Slowly lift the rattle just a little and encourage her to lift her head and shoulders to watch it move. Doing so helps your baby follow the rattle with her eyes, and practice lifting her head and shoulders.
• Gently soothe, stroke and hold your child.You will see your baby comforted, happy to be held and cuddled.
• Do skin to skin contact.Feeling, hearing and smelling your presence should provide your baby with a sense of calm and security.

1-6 month old baby tips

1-3 month old babies see things best when they are between 20-30 cm away. By 3 months, babies have a greater range of vision.

• Provide ways for your child to see, hear, feel, move freely and touch you.Your baby will slowly establish trust with you.
• Slowly move colourful things for your child to see and reach for. A simple, homemade toy, like a rattle, can attract your baby's interest by the sounds it makes.
• Smile and laugh with your child.You should soon see your baby smile in return.
• Talk to your child and copy her sounds or gestures.You should see her slowly focus on your face and try to imitate you in return.
• Help your child follow an object.When he sees it, move it slowly from side to side and up and down. You should see him try to follow the object with his eyes.
• Encourage your child to reach for a safe object. Try something like a plastic cup. You should see her try to grab or touch it.
• Cut out simple pictures of familiar things, people and animals.Try to get pictures showing lots of different colors, textures, scenes and faces. Talk about the pictures as your baby looks at them. You should observe how your baby listens to what you tell him and participates in his own way.
• Play a game with your baby.Place her on her stomach and slowly walk your fingers toward her. Then quickly and gently tickle her saying: Here come my fingers, here they come, closer and closer, they got you. To change the game, make your fingers creep slowly or quickly, or wait different amounts of time before tickling her. You should see her show delight by laughing or squealing.

6-9 month old baby tips

At 6 months, your baby can eat anything except honey which should not be given until she is a year old.

• When asking a question, give lots of time for the answer.Count to 10 in your head. If no answer comes, then answer the question yourself. Try an easier question the next time.
• Say your baby's name as much as possible.She will look to see who is saying it and will try to reach out to the person.
• Never speak or sing too loudly, as this may scare babies.
• Smile as much as possibleand provide your baby with comfort and trust.
• Give your child clean, safe and colourful things, such as a wooden spoon or plastic bowl, to reach for and touch, or bang and drop.
• Make simple picture books, puzzles, hand puppets and dolls to develop your baby's curiosity and help him learn new things. To make a simple puzzle, just glue a picture on a piece of cardboard or other material and cut out the sections.

9-12 month old baby tips

To increase infants self-esteem and confidence, always take a positive approach to your child's learning process. Try to say yes, good, well done more often, rather than no, bad, not good.

• Play hide and seek with your infant and see if he can find the objects you hide. You can hide something under a cloth, and say: Where did it go?, Can you find it? You should see an increase in your child's curiosity and willingness to find out what happened to the object.
• Tell your infant the names of things and people.She should show interest and soon will try to make relationships between words and objects or people.
• Show your child how to say things with hands, like bye bye.Soon your child should try to imitate you and wave bye-bye on his own, making a relationship between a movement and a vocal expression.
• Point to the eyes, nose and mouth on a doll. After showing one part on the doll, touch the same part on yourself and on your baby. Take your baby's hand and have him touch the eyes, nose and mouth on the doll, you and himself. Slowly, the baby will be able to memorize and identify these different words and relate them to his body parts.

1-2 year old toddler tips

Toddlers are especially happy when they see that they are making the adults around them happy as well.

• Give your child things to put into containers and take out.She will try to take them out and put them back on her own, which is great for the development of eye-hand coordination skills.
• Give your toddler things to stack up.He should try to stack more things on his own and make them fall down, or will stack things up until they fall down.
• Ask your child simple questions and respond to your child's attempts to talk.She should be willing to interact by responding and/or asking further questions.
• Try to talk about different realities with your infant, such as nature, pictures and things from the surrounding environment. You should see your toddler move around and be willing to explore the environment.
• Watch what your toddler does and name it: You are filling the box. He will be happy to show you what he learned and will gain self-esteem.
• Play with your toddler and offer help: Let's do it together. Here are more stones to put into your box. These discoveries should make her happy and more confident.
• Use every opportunity to engage in a conversation, including when feeding or bathing, or when working near him. He should soon begin to understand what you are saying and be able to follow simple directions.
• Turn simple questions into games: Where is your toe? or Where is the bird? You can look at pictures and talk about what you see. She should show more and more curiosity and willingness to communicate about what she sees and hears.

2+ years old toddler tips

Children learn better when they are taught how to behave well instead of being scolded for behaving badly.

• Ask simple questions and listen to the answers.Encourage your child to talk: What is this?, Where is the window?, Which ball is bigger?, Would you like the red cup?. You should see your child's growing interest in interacting with you and responding to your questions.
• Read stories to your child and ask questions about what you see in the book. You should notice your child memorizes and tries to repeat what you read.
• Help your child learn to count by asking how many and counting things together.Your child will make mistakes at first, but learn from repeating things many times.
• Offer your child circles and other shapes cut from coloured paper to compare and sort.She should be happy to try sorting things and will learn how to match and make relationships between different objects, colours and shapes.